“We cannot tell the precise moment
When friendship is formed.
As in filling a vessel drop by drop,
There is at last a drop
Which makes it run over;
So in a series of kindnesses
There is at last one
Which makes the heart run over.”
- Samuel Johnson

Connect.

Whether you call it my resolution of the year, goal of the year, theme of the year or word of the year … ‘Connect’ is what I am focusing on this year.

Resolutions and goals aren’t new to you. I won’t even attempt explaining them to you. Theme of the year and word of the year are alternatives to new year resolution.

Theme Of The Year

In theme of the year you pick one life area you want to work on and put all your energy into it. That life area becomes your priority, your obsession, your area of prime focus. How do I improve this life area, how can I make this better is the question you repeatedly ask yourself. And of course you work on the answers that you get.

Sometimes your journey will lead you to learning new things, sometimes it will mean experimenting on different theories to find one which works for you. Sometimes you look within to reflect everything pertaining to that life area, sometimes you go all out interacting with people in your life, people in the same boat and people who have found their answers to find a way to get better and better. Every answer will open multiple new routes for you, every route taken will lead to a better you and a better life.

The beauty of taking theme based approach is that it is highly action oriented. You don’t wait for anything to happen. You make things happen. You don’t wait for life to throw something at you to work upon. You actively seek and create opportunities to work on the focused life area. You create mini goals, set milestones & action plans as you move forward towards improving your life area. You follow the cycle of Act-Reflect-Learn-Act. There is nothing passive about this method.

Word Of The Year

In word of the year, you pick one word which resonates with you. One word which you would like to experience in you / your life. How you do that is not important. How will it lead to improving your life in areas you want is not important. This word pulled you because somewhere within there is something you need to experience & learn. Living a year with this word can lead you to it.

What you are asked to do is simple – every opportunity you get to be that word, to experience that word, to make that word real for you, do so. Stay with the word for the entire year and ask yourself how do I manifest this in my life? And follow through with whatever comes up. The path will lead you to places you need to visit, it will satisfy needs deep within which you didn’t know existed, it will open new areas for you which otherwise you possibly might have missed.

The beauty of taking word based approach is that you don’t know where will it lead you. Word based approach encourages you to own the word. You own it in such a way that it enmeshes with you, it becomes part of who you are and what your personality is. It becomes you. And because you own the word, it affects all areas of your life. Sometimes in ways you didn’t foresee while choosing the word. So often we keep working on known faults and the true reason for failure or lack of growth remains hidden. So often our understanding of what’s the problem is way away from the actual one. Word based approach brings to light these hidden areas, these blind spots in your life. It provides you with opportunities to expand yourself, it challenges you to grow and reach beyond yourself in every area of your life.

Connect

I read about ‘word of the year’ approach on Christine’s blog (whom I found via a guest post by Lance of Jungle Of Life). As I read Christine’s explanation of ‘Word of the year’, word ‘Connect’ immediately popped up. I knew Connect is the word for me. Christine has given a long list of words as examples from which we can choose. I went through each word, none of them felt as right as Connect to me. And so Connect it is.

Co-incidentally, the theme that I was interested in picking up this year was ‘Getting Social’ – which loosely translates into Connect. My plan is to work on theme based and word based approaches together with a common focus – Connect.

When I think of Connect, I immediately think of Dialogue, Compassion & Friendship.

• Connect is about taking that first step towards friendship, or many more steps if needed.
• Connect is about creating and nurturing loving bonds through conversations and understanding.
• Connect is about forming new friendships and strengthening old ones.

What does Connect mean to you?

More importantly, what theme/word are you picking for yourself? Which word pops up and attracts you to own it, which word calls you, which word do you wish to live for the entire next year?

Further reading:
December is Word-of-the-Year Month at Christine’s Blog. People who took word based approach for current year share their experience. Truly inspiring accounts worth reading.

Connect – For A Better Life is a post from: Avani-Mehta.com Download & Share: The Fabulous Motivators E-Book.

Picking up from where we left, here are few more ideas which can help you enrich your life and get rid of boredom simultaneously:

Entertainment On The Go – To Battle Traveling Time

Imagine traveling 5 hours just to reach office and back home. Imagine doing this everyday in crazy traffic, bad weather & bumpy rides. If you don’t want to be tired or in a bad mood after this kind of journey, it is crucial to make most of this time. I credit ‘entertainment on the go’ for making my life easy and keeping me in a positive state of mind when I had to do this kind of traveling.

The concept is very simple – find something you can do which relaxes, energizes and entertains you. My something was seeing dances in my mind. I can play peppy numbers in my head and see people dance. If you ever see me staring into nothing with a goofy smile on my face, chances are high that this is exactly what I am doing. Sounds crazy I know. But it works. I can spend hours this way and because I remain entertained, when I reach destination I am not tired.

Imagining dance is my way of keeping myself entertained. You have to find something that works for you. If I know before hand that I have a lot of traveling to do, I make it a point to carry books and music along with me as well. Traveling everyday with same people opens the possibility of bonding with people & playing games to stay entertained. Getting some sleep of course is always an option. Some people I know use this time for meditation and self reflection. What is it that you can do in these hours to pass the journey easily?

Heart to Heart – Experience Richness Of Relationships

Sometimes, boredom in life is a reflection of staleness in relationships. When you don’t connect with others and focus solely on self, you start missing love that only heart to heart bonds can bring.

This longing for love & relationships manifests itself in various ways – sometimes through sadness, sometimes through loneliness and sometimes through boredom or disinterest for everything.

The only way to find out whether it is relationships that you miss, is to reach out to people you love. When you spend time with them – sharing, talking, laughing, bonding … you will know, your heart will tell you, whether it is this that you were seeking for.

To keep your life enriched with love which relationships bring, take time to nurture relationships. And more importantly, experience this love and fill your heart with it from time to time.

Pick Your Cause – Go Change Someone’s World

Teaching children, giving company to seniors, going green to save environment, being a reason for someone’s smile – who has the time to get bored with life when there is so much to do? This world needs you. It needs the unique you, the common you, the weird you, the silly you … it needs all of you to help it with all these causes. What are you going to do today to change the world?

If the term ‘change the world’ puts you off, since it seems like an unlikely task, something too huge for you to accomplish; then ask yourself this – What can you do to change someone’s world? Not entire world. Just one person’s world. What can you do to make someone’s life easier, better, filled with love, filled with opportunities, filled with hope …

When you stop looking outside to find something that can enrich your life and start looking within to enrich someone else’s life, your life will truly change.

Enrich someone’s life today. And see how your life gets enriched on its own. Give someone love today. And see how your heart gets filled with love on it’s own. The beauty of changing someone’s life is such that as you change that persons life, so will your life change.

Paint Your Life As You Choose To – Every Single Day

In the end, I would like to leave you with this fantastic poem by John McLeod :

Awakening – John McLeod

Awakening, dawn’s chorus
Welcoming,
The day new, untouched
Waiting to be filled….

And will we paint a rainbow
With all its promise
Or dull the canvas
Sadly seen?

Each day brings its own colours
To be chosen, mixed,
Pigments of joy,
Happy moments,
Smiles and laughter….

And which will you choose?
For ‘Life’ is choice,
We are all painters
In our own way,
All needing to create
Something of worth,
Of lasting beauty,
Marking our journey….
Footprints in the sand….

The sky today is azure,
The sun warm and golden
A filigree of light and shadow-play
Through the gently swaying trees.

I clean my brushes,
Choose my palette
Of vibrant, living colours,
And begin to fill
Today’s blank canvas.

Enrich Your Life – Part 2 is a post from: Avani-Mehta.com Download & Share: The Fabulous Motivators E-Book.

One day, while I was bored, I read – “If you are bored, it’s because you’re boring”. And Ouch! that hurt a lot. My immediate reaction to this was of course denial. I didn’t want to believe the statement which implicated me as the root cause of my boredom. But the problem was, it sounded so right.

As I started taking responsibility for my boredom and took action to get rid of it, something amazing started to happen. I found that not only my boredom time reduced drastically, I also started to live more and enjoy life moment to moment.

Living in a city (Mumbai) where 1.5 hour one way travel to work or college is considered normal (mine was actually 2+), I had ample time to hone my skills of keeping myself entertained. To enjoy myself and to create enriching life are two most important things I stumbled on to while working through boredom and aiming for the best I could have/create for myself.

What I share below are some thoughts and some tips which will help you to enrich your lives and as a side effect remove boredom from your life.

Start Taking Responsibility

There are so many things in the world that you can do/learn that even if you learn one new thing a day, your lifetime wouldn’t be enough. And inspite of this, if you are bored, whose fault is that?

It’s your job to not get bored. It’s your job to ensure that your life remains interesting for you. And how can it be otherwise? After all, your life … your call.

The first step to get anything in life is to take complete responsibility for it. It doesn’t matter whether you played a role in things being the way they are. Taking responsibility isn’t about taking blame anyway. Taking responsibility is about taking control of things from now on, it’s about saying that I will deal with whatever comes up, I will make things work.

Take responsibility for boredom in your life. So that you can remove it from your life.

Take responsibility to enrich your life.

Do Something Outrageous – Shock Away Inertia

You remember the simple law of inertia that you read in your physics book? The one which says that a moving object keeps moving easily and an object at rest remains at rest? That’s exactly what has gotten into you and your life – Inertia! You think you are getting bored with life, you talk about wanting to make changes, you even plan … but nothing happens. Thoughts remain thoughts and plans remain plans. No action is taken.

The technique that has always helped me to make a switch from rest to moving is to give myself a massive push – do something so outrageous in the direction I want my life to go that I keep rolling in the same direction by sheer force of it. My state automatically becomes that of moving. And once I start moving, it’s easier to keep moving.

What will give you a massive push, you will have to figure out for yourself. One that has never failed me is to have a blast – have so much fun doing what I am supposed to do that I can’t help but do more of it. I am so excited about the fun of first push that I think and talk only about it. All I want to do is repeat the experience. And this desire keeps me moving.

note: what’s outrageous for you might not be outrageous for others. Don’t debate on whether what you are doing falls under outrageous. Just do what you want to.

Take Action Immediately – Don’t Bother To Plan

If you get an idea, act on it. Don’t wait to make everything perfect. If you wait even to plan, you might lose out on the opportunity. The larger the gap between your idea and it’s implementation, higher the chances of you taking no action at all. Don’t let the clock tic away. Take action now. You will find more opportunities later on to plan things to perfection. Right now is the time to act and not plan.

If your idea is to go on a weekend trip with your friends and you find only an evening is available; don’t let go of the evening. Grab the opportunity. Throw a party and rock on. Beggars can’t be choosers. The party will set in motion the weekend trip.

The idea is to keep window between idea and action so small that even a ‘but’ can’t pass through. You want to get a bite of action as soon as possible, no matter how small so that you keep coming for more.

note: if your idea brings drastic changes in your life, it might be better to not act on impulse. Don’t do something foolish.

Follow A No Complain Rule

I know ‘no complaining’ is tough. But guess what, it gets tougher. You don’t get to complain even in your mind. Do whatever you have to – make fun of life, accept life, change life … but don’t complain.

The reason for this is simple, complaining doesn’t give any returns. It might give you a momentary release but it spoils your quality of life (and of those around you). You have problems, you change your attitude, you don’t get to complain.

The magic of this is that you can’t keep thinking ‘I can’t complain’ forever. The no complain rule will force you to ask yourself that what can I do make this pain/irritation go away, or what can I do make things bearable. Now that’s a constructive thought – one which you might not have if you get to complain.

I have come to a point where I ask myself what’s the point of complaining? Nothing’s going to change. So why spoil mood? Why not simply accept what is or change what is.

I know, it kind of reminds you of The Serenity Prayer doesn’t it? It’s one of my favorite prayers –

God Grant Me The Serenity
To Accept The Things I Cannot Change;
Courage To Change The Things I Can;
And Wisdom To Know The Difference.

Does this mean that I don’t complain at all? No, of course not. I do complain. Sometimes I don’t even realize that I am complaining. But since I don’t allow people around me to complain, they do the same for me. (I think they must secretly enjoy giving me back what I give them very much)

Pick Your Passion Of The Year – Keeps Things Interesting

You could choose to pick passion of the month or passion of the decade … doesn’t really matter. One year works for me hence I say one year.

One year I am passionate about stock market. I learn about trading, I learn about stocks, mutuals funds, long/short term investments, day trading … I trade, I read, I interact with those who have same interests. I obsessively do everything around it. It’s fun, it’s exhilirating, it’s new. It’s almost like having a crush.

Another year, it’s reading fantasy novels. I read harry potter, lord of the rings, wheel of time … I read and get lost in their world. It’s like seeing everything happen in front of my eyes. I cry with them, I rejoice with them, I urge them to move on, I pray them to stay safe, I hold my breath everytime something big is going to happen … it’s like being transported to their time, living the experience or seeing someone close experience the same. It’s raw, it’s magical.

It doesn’t matter what you pick up as long as you are trying something new. Give yourself an opportunity to explore something, have fun with something. If you don’t like what you try, you can always pick something else. Out of 10 things you try, you might at least like one. And who knows, what you find might surprise you – you like it so much that you stick with it for lifetime.

Everytime you try something new, you enrich your life with a new experience. Everytime you find something you are passionate about, you have hit a jackpot – your life will forever be rich from the joy that activity will bring in you.

[More in part 2 - coming soon]

I would love to hear from you in comments and/or email.

Enrich Your Life – Part 1 is a post from: Avani-Mehta.com Download & Share: The Fabulous Motivators E-Book.

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends – Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is always room for improvement, you know – it’s the biggest room in the house – Louise Liber.
Top 8 Life Hacks aims to improve different life areas such as – health, finance, relationships and self.

Life Hack #4 – Develop An Attitude Of Gratitude (Self)

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you !

Here are 10 quotes on gratitude (my favourites) which express how and why should we develop an attitude of gratitude –

• 1. Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation – Brian Tracy
• 2. At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us – Albert Schweitzer
• 3. Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy — because we will always want to have something else or something more. – Brother David Steindl – rast
  
• 4. Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so let us all be thankful – Buddha
  
• 5. Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity … It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow. – Melodia Beattie
  
• 6. To educate yourself for the feeling of gratitude means to take nothing for granted, but to always seek out and value the kind that will stand behind the action. Nothing that is done for you is a matter of course. Everything originates in a will for the good, which is directed at you. Train yourself never to put off the word or action for the expression of gratitude – Albert Schweitzer
• 7. Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend … when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present — love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure — the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience Heaven on earth – Sarah Ban Breathnach
• 8. The most fortunate are those who have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder, and even ecstasy – Abraham Maslow
• 9. They are not poor that have little, but they that desire much. The richest man, whatever his lot is the one who’s content with his lot. – Dutch proverb
• 10. Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom – Marcel proust

Read Other Hacks:
• Life Hacks:
  #1
  #2
  #3
  #4
  

10 Gratitude Quotes To Develop An Attitude Of Gratitude is a post from: Avani-Mehta.com Download & Share: The Fabulous Motivators E-Book.

So, Like A Forgotten Fire, A Childhood Can Always Flare Up Again Within Us. – Gaston Bachelard

There is something magical about childhood that makes all of us wish to revisit it. I used to wonder, is it possible to bring elements of childhood to our present life. Is it possible to live life in such a way that we can experience the wonders of childhood for life.

As I look back at all of my cherished memories, what stands out is that though individual experiences cannot be brought back, I can bring back who I was then and live life fully – the way a child does. I can live life child-like by being childlike.

1. Give Happiness It’s Place

There Is A Garden In Every Childhood, An Enchanted Place Where Colors Are Brighter, The Air Softer, And The Morning More Fragrant Than Ever Again. – Elizabeth Lawrence

Every emotion in life has it’s own place and importance. And from all of them, some form the center of our life. As adults, we give way too much importance to sadness and worry and make them our center. We keep looking out for opportunities to be happy – but because it is not our center, sooner or later we have to leave it and go back to sadness and worry.

It seems, children are more intelligent than us. They have put happiness in their life center. And everyday, they keep building habits that strongly tie happiness to the center. Everyday they seek and create more and more reasons for happiness to stay in center. For some fleeting moments, they do get sad, but because of their strong habits, they come back to Happiness effortessly.

2. Remove All Labels

A Grownup Is A Child With Layers On. – Woody Harrelson

We use labels to describe ourselves and others. However, labels have such power that once set, they define us rather than we defining them. They influence our thoughts and actions. They influence the way we see ourselves and others.

Hence, remove all labels that you have set for yourself and for others. Let nothing stop you. What happened before, need not happen now. No one should be judged based on their past. No ones potential can be determined by how they have lived so far.

Believe in self and others. Not in the labels. Kids do this. Kids don’t have labels. Yesterday they were pilots, today they are doctors and tomorrow they will be supermodels.

3. Short Term Memory Wins In Long Term

I Wish I Didn’t Know Now What I Didn’t Know Then. -Bob Seger

Bad memory is a gift. Everyone should have one. It’s a blessing for relationships. Kids fight and make up and forget all about it. Adults fight and then they fight. It never goes beyond that. If they are lucky, they may make up with each other. But the fight is not forgotten. It is saved for the next fight.

As a kid, I have had my share of fights with siblings. And for every fight, there was only one answer – we were asked to stay in one room till we made up. Within 5 minutes, we not only made up, we were best of buddies again. Most importantly, the fight was forgotten the moment we made up.

4. Fun, Fun And Fun

Kids: They Dance Before They Learn There Is Anything That Isn’t Music. -William Stafford

This of course is everyones favourite – having fun in each activity, have a blast no matter where we are and what are we doing. Kids are very creative over here. A set of cards is not just a game, it is money and palace and huts and trains and secret pass keys and what not. They not only have fun but they make having fun a top priority. Everyday, there is time for school and studies and loads of fun. We need to learn how to balance our life from them.

5. Open The Wonder Eye

There Are No Seven Wonders Of The World In The Eyes Of A Child. There Are Seven Million.

To experience being a kid, learn something new – on your own or through a class. Fresh experiences makes one alive. It removes stagnation and boredom from ones life and fills it with curiousity and wonder. Kids are interested in each and everything. They have unlimited number of questions and the more we answer, the more they will ask. Their favourite one of course is ‘Why’ to everything we say and all our answers.

Living Life Child Like is a post from: Avani-Mehta.com Download & Share: The Fabulous Motivators E-Book.