Anger Management Series provides self help material to deal with anger. It raises and answers questions like – how to control anger, how to become anger-free etc. It attempts to do so by understanding anger, putting together varied anger management strategies and reviewing books on the same subject.

[Click here for Part I : Decoding Anger]

[Click here for Part II : How Did We Form Our Current Anger Management Style]

[Click here for Part III : Kaizen Way of Managing Anger]

[Click here for Part IV : How To Pick Your First Anger Management Area]

[Click here for Part V : Honor Your Anger]

If you have been following and processing what has been said so far in the anger management series, you can actually manage to work on anger management independently. The idea behind this series had been to get you thinking about your anger management style and give your thoughts a direction. After reading this series, a lot of people might feel that this is all common sense and logic derived. I actually hope all of you do reach that point because if it is so simple, then this is really something you can do on your own, isn’t it?.

As long as you are aware of what you are feeling, doing and thinking, you will be able to form your own anger management style – one which suits you and you feel comfortable in. There will be lot of points where you will stop and wonder what action to take next – which is all right. Books and internet is filled with practical advice on ‘what to do’. The missing part usually is ‘what to think’. That is the gap I aim to fill with this series. With the right thinking direction, the ‘what to do’ solutions offered will start making sense. You will be able to then decide which solutions are meant for you and which aren’t.

The most practical example I can provide for this one is – ‘When in anger, count till 10′. This doesn’t make sense independently. What will happen by counting till 10? Even though a lot of people vouch for this to work, you might be getting frustrated at how ineffective this is. With the help of thinking tools, you might be able to identify that ‘counting till 10′ fits the category of controlling anger (momentarily) and redirecting your mind somewhere else. This might not work if you are highly aggressive and you need to release the pent up emotions, it will not work if you usually keep anger within and need a release. It does not manage the source of anger at all.

So while I list below all the ‘what to do’ answers, do think where do they fit in your anger management strategy. Do they help you to

• Be Anger-Free
• Release Anger
• Re-direct Anger
• Control Anger
• Manage The Source Of Anger

Anger Management Tips

• Everything in life is temporary. Allow yourself to feel anger, allow it to go.
• Each emotion is a choice. Ask yourself ‘Do I want to be angry over this?’. Often the answer will be no and anger will vanish instantly.
• List of questions you can ask yourself:
  • How is my anger going to change anything?
  • Am I going to benefit by anger?
  • Can I deal with this without getting angry?
  • What would (my role model) do in this case?
  • What is really bothering me?
  • What can I do to make things better?
• Words can trigger emotions. Use right words to describe how you are feeling. Am I angry or frustrated? Am I frustrated or a little irritated? Am I irritated or inconvenienced?
• Bargain with anger. (Similar to Bargain With Pain)
• Think before acting out in anger – what will the consequence of this action be?
• Close your eyes and think of the one you love, remember your happiest moments – this should calm you down considerably
• Do some kind of physical activity – walk, swim, jog, kick box, dance, exercise
• Do something to relax – breathing exercises, yoga, meditation, listen to soothing music, go out for a walk in nature
• Speak out (to whom is your choice). Do not bottle up.
• Forgive the ones who did you wrong
• Use humor
• Keep an anger log to process later
• Avoid situations that make you angry
• Drink a glass of water (I actually try to eat water. Soothes my nerves)
• Take a bath
• Become positive
• Deal with anger when it’s small – Learn to become more aware of what you are feeling, and recognise your anger when it occurs. Notice your particular signs that anger is building (eg become tense, less tolerant, develop a headache etc)
• Take time out
• Break Free Of Anxiety Habits
• Develop communication skills
• Stay organized
• Stay before time
• Use power of your mind to reduce stress
• Know your values and goals
• Accept life – things will not ‘always’ work out the way you want. Life sometimes is unfair.
• Communicate verbally and clearly. Don’t expect people to be mind readers
• Learn to deal with pain
• Let Go
• Break your pattern. Do one thing different.

Some tips shared in comments:

• Clap till 10 real hard – [Ananya]
• It is OK to be angry – [Urban Panther]
• Sedona Method to release negative emotions – [Marelisa]
• Become emphatic – See from the other person’s perspective – [Urban Panther]
• Communicate with the person who sets you off – [Barbara]

How do you manage anger? Do share your tips in the comment section.

This is Part VI of Anger Management Series. This is also the last one.
If you liked the series, consider subscribing to RSS Feed or Email Updates for free.

Anger Management Tips is a post from: Avani-Mehta.com Download & Share: The Fabulous Motivators E-Book.

Anger Management Series provides self help material to deal with anger. It raises and answers questions like – how to control anger, how to become anger-free etc. It attempts to do so by understanding anger, putting together varied anger management strategies and reviewing books on the same subject.

[Click here for Part I : Decoding Anger]

[Click here for Part II : How Did We Form Our Current Anger Management Style]

[Click here for Part III : Kaizen Way of Managing Anger]

[Click here for Part IV : How To Pick Your First Anger Management Area]

Honor Your Anger Style

Book Review

Everyone has issues and concerns about anger. Some people need help in managing anger that gets out of control; others need help in accessing buried anger. Some take anger that is meant for one person out on innocent people, while others take their anger out on themselves. Instead of confronting the people with whom they are angry, they become self-destructive in some way—by overeating or binge eating, smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol or taking drugs, or relentlessly bombarding themselves with self-criticism. Others pretend they aren’t angry but then get back at those who hurt or threaten them in indirect, often underhanded ways, such as gossiping, being sarcastic, or distancing themselves. Unless you find healthy ways of owning and expressing your anger, it will find some outlet that might be inappropriate, unhealthy, or counterproductive.

And so starts the book ‘Honor Your Anger: How Transforming Your Anger Style Can Change Your Life‘. The opening lines got my attention. For a change, I found a book which doesn’t focus on just one group of people – those who cannot control anger and are abusive. The book didn’t treat anger as a disease or the enemy. It doesn’t ask us to avoid anger or pressure us that it is bad to get angry and we all should become anger free.

What the book does instead is show us how to embrace anger. It provides with a step by step guide to discover our ‘anger style’ and learn to use anger as a force for positive change.

The anger styles mentioned in the book are :

• Unhealthy Styles : Passive, Aggressive, Passive-Aggressive and Projective-Aggressive
• Healthy Styles : Assertive and Reflective

If you are worried about how are you supposed to figure out what your anger management style is to begin with, don’t. The entire book is filled with real life examples to help us understand the concepts and ideas Ms Engel has mentioned. With help of those examples not only will you be able to identify your own anger style, but also of others. ‘Honor Your Anger: How Transforming Your Anger Style Can Change Your Life‘ is broadly divided in three parts.

Part I of the book focuses on understanding varied anger styles, identifying which one is ours and how is it impacting our life and life of our loved ones.

Part II focusses on how can we change our anger style from an unhealthy one to a healthy one. It has one chapter dedicated to each unhealthy style and how to go about dealing with it and changing it.

Part III was a total bonus for me since I didn’t expect it. Part III talks about how can we deal with angry people who have the unhealthy anger styles mentioned above. And then some more – How to fight, how to apologize, forgive and how to honor others anger management style.

About The Author:

Beverly Engel is the best selling author of eighteen self-help books. She is a psychotherapist and is an internationally recognized expert in the fields of abuse, women’s issues, relationships, and sexuality. She has shared her expertise on many national television programs, including: CNN, Oprah!, Sally Jesse Raphael, Ricki Lake, and Leeza.

What Are The Critics Saying:

“This book made me angry! Why couldn’t Ms. Engel have written it years ago when it would have helped me through difficult times? Honor Your Anger: How Transforming Your Anger is a clearly written, insightful look at a topic that concerns everyone. You can indeed learn to understand and manage your anger, and this book will show you how.” – Robert Epstein, Ph.D., West Coast Editor, Psychology Today

This is Part V of Anger Management Series. Stay Tuned for Part VI.

To ensure that you do not miss any part of this series, consider subscribing to RSS Feed or Email Updates for free.

Honor Your Anger Style is a post from: Avani-Mehta.com Download & Share: The Fabulous Motivators E-Book.

Anger Management Series provides self help material to deal with anger. It raises and answers questions like – how to control anger, how to become anger-free etc. It attempts to do so by understanding anger, putting together varied anger management strategies and reviewing books on the same subject.

[Click here for Part I : Decoding Anger]

[Click here for Part II : How Did We Form Our Current Anger Management Style]

[Click here for Part III : Kaizen Way of Managing Anger]

How To Pick Your First Anger Management Area

Flight Or Fight Response

It is said that anger is a natural emotion and hence shouldn’t be played with. There is a reason for anger to be a part of the varied emotions that we feel – anger is a response to danger. In early days, anger helped us take quick action in life or death kind of situations.

I don’t follow this reasoning well because we aren’t who we were then. We don’t live life the way we used to then. When we give out a natural response in situations which seem like danger to us, we are basically simply reacting to the event. And the only natural reaction to danger that we know of is to fight or flight.

In my early days, I too reacted to anger with fight or flight. Sadly, neither worked. A fight became a battle of wills, a battle of who is right. Of course to me I was always right and ditto with the other party (After a point, it anyways didn’t matter. All that mattered was who won the battle). And a flight became avoiding confrontations, avoiding anger, keeping everything bottled within. An anger which keeps boiling within is all consuming. It finds it’s release either by draining the anger keeper physically and emotionally or it explodes and transforms from flight to fight (equally unproductive).

As is obvious, I wasn’t happy with either ways of managing anger – the passive style (flight) and the agressive style (fight). Neither style gave me what I wanted – a sensible solution to whatever the problem was. And hence, I began to work on myself.

Pick What’s Easiest To Do

My first choice was to practice releasing anger. Most of you might be expecting a really good reasoning for why I picked up releasing anger (working with the emotion of anger) rather than working on source of anger or other options of working with the emotion of anger (like controlling anger, redirecting anger etc). Truth is, I didn’t have such a good understanding of anger or what forms anger management. My interest was only in making life easy and easiest way for me to do so was releasing anger.

Some of the advantages of working on the emotion of anger are that you work on it on your own, at your own pace and at your own time and convenience. No one else is involved in this process and hence you can experiment as much as you like. It is rarely going to impact others directly – it’s a private and internal process.

When you seek to pick up one area of anger management, the question to ask yourself is – What is the easiest option I can work upon, what is the most comfortable of all.

The Pareto Principle

For me it was releasing anger because it meant making use of a lot of thoughts, logic and self reflection – things which I was already comfortable in. Working on releasing anger meant putting in a little effort and getting great results – a complete win-win.

The other way to pick up an area of anger management to work upon is by following the Pareto principle – also known as the 80-20 principle. It is said that 80% of effects come from 20% of causes. So what you need to do is figure out, what your 20% is which will give you 80% of results. In what area, you can work minimum and gain maximum advantage.

A Few Examples

Had I been an aggressive person, releasing anger would be the last of my worries. My first prime most focus would have been on redirecting anger. This is because as an aggressive person, I could hurt others by words and actions (which obviously I don’t want to). Moreover, releasing anger through self reflection would have been really difficult. I would have needed some kind of activity to focus on, something which took a lot of energy. And hence, redirection makes sense – exercise, play sports, dance … anything which is physical. Once through these activities I calm down, releasing anger through self reflection, working on the source of problem etc would be possible.

If there is a particular time period in which I am prone to anger – late evening coz I am tired or PMS or some project deadline, working on the source of anger would make sense. I would work on relaxing myself, taking some time off, do something which makes me happy etc. This automatically will reduce the effect of tiredness, nervousness etc. Moreover, along with the source, I would also work on sorting external events which could trigger anger – this could mean communicating with family members about how I feel – even a simple stay out of my way for a while message would work wonders. By helping others to help me, I can pass this tough time easily, without getting angry.

This is Part IV of Anger Management Series. Stay Tuned for Part V.

To ensure that you do not miss any part of this series, consider subscribing to RSS Feed or Email Updates for free.

Update : How To Pick Your First Anger Management Area – Anger Management Series Part IV

How To Pick Your First Anger Management Area is a post from: Avani-Mehta.com Download & Share: The Fabulous Motivators E-Book.

Anger Management Series provides self help material to deal with anger. It raises and answers questions like – how to control anger, how to become anger-free etc. It attempts to do so by understanding anger, putting together varied anger management strategies and reviewing books on the same subject.

[Click here for Part I : Decoding Anger]

[Click here for Part II : How Did We Form Our Current Anger Management Style]

As we stay with the question – ‘What would I like my anger management style to be’, usually we focus on finding out what is wrong about the way we manage anger currently. And then, simply decide to go to the other extreme style of anger management. That is, people who withdraw when in anger, decide to become assertive and those who are aggressive decide to handle anger calmly.

This strategy does make sense but making a jump this big in one go is overwhelming and difficult to achieve. Asking a shy person to suddenly become assertive and a hyper aggressive person to become calm and patient is almost like asking for miracles. These changes do happen but gradually. And sometimes, these kind of changes are not needed.

Yes, overhauling anger management style completely is not needed. Because, no matter what your anger management style is, there will be something in it that you are doing right. We don’t want to change that part. We just want to improve areas which are problematic or rather should I say not upto satisfactory level. And this means, there will be no drastic changes in the way you manage anger, there will be no drastic changes in your personality type.

My Way Of Forming Anger Management Style – The Kaizen Way

When I decided to change the way I dealt with anger, I didn’t plan on changing it completely. All I wanted was to manage it better. For this reason, there was no big plan or end goal in mind. I moved in baby steps. My cycle of change even today is like this -

Cycle Of Change

• Evaluate the way I manage anger
• Find out how could I have managed it better
• Pick up one concrete step I can take the next time I get angry
• Practice till I get that step easily
• Evaluate the way I manage anger
• And the cycle continues.

There is a Japanese concept which speaks about this process – Kaizen - Constant and Never Ending Improvement. Kaizen is exactly what I follow (and what I am asking you to follow) – Constantly seek to improve your anger management stye; keep working on it.

Get Into A Reflective Mode

I don’t know how common this is. But for me, every time I lose temper, it becomes a time for self reflection – Did I manage anger well? Am I satisfied with the way I dealt with the situation? Was there a need to get angry? Why did I get angry? Could I have managed not getting angry? … these are just a few questions I think of in reflective mode. And it is because of this self-reflective mode that I now understand anger (management) and of course, I get my answer to the ever green question – how could I have handled this situation better.

As you seek to improve your anger management style, do ask these questions to yourself often. The answers that you get will become your guide and show you the path to better anger management.

The Two Keys Of Anger Management

However, there is one important distinction I would like to share with you before you begin with The Kaizen Way of managing anger. This distinction will speed you up considerably. And that distinction is ‘Two Keys Of Anger Management’

Managing The Anger Emotion

Managing the anger emotion focuses on dealing with emotion of anger in varied forms -

• Redirecting anger,
• Controlling anger,
• Releasing anger and
• Avoiding anger provocation as much as possible.

You might be required to manage the anger emotion in either way. The first priority is to not get angry. If you do get angry, you will then have a need to release it as soon as possible in healthiest form. If releasing anger for time being is not possible, then we focus on redirecting it to something else. And of course, sometimes we don’t have an option, we simply have to control our anger for time being and deal with the situation.

Managing The Source Of Anger

Managing the source of anger focuses on dealing with the cause of anger. Releasing anger relieves us of the pain and discomfort we feel when in anger. However, this is just half task done. Dealing with the source of anger ensures that we have resolved the situation completely and decreased chances of similar anger inducing situations coming up again. The scope again here is huge because anyone and anything can be the source of anger. As we identify different sources, we have to learn/develop varied skills to deal with the source.

Some things that I have learned/improved in the process of dealing with the source of anger -

• Communication Skills
• Staying Organized
• Releasing Anger
• Monitoring thoughts

Sometimes we need to deal with the source of anger to be able to release the anger emotion and sometimes, we have to work on releasing anger since that itself has become the source. It doesn’t matter what part you pick up first as long as you can deal with it and manage not hurting yourself or others in the process.

The distinction of two keys is important because often we focus on one of these two keys and forget about the other one completely. And then we wonder, why are we going in circles, why aren’t things getting better. Now we have a clear picture that to deal with anger we need to do two important things – release the emotion and deal with the source. Consider it as a form of checklist after every encounter with anger. If we miss out on either of these two keys, they will come back later and bite us.

This is Part III of Anger Management Series. Stay Tuned for Part IV.

To ensure that you do not miss any part of this series, consider subscribing to RSS Feed or Email Updates for free.

Update : How To Pick Your First Anger Management Area – Anger Management Series Part IV

Kaizen Way Of Managing Anger is a post from: Avani-Mehta.com Download & Share: The Fabulous Motivators E-Book.

Anger Management Series provides self help material to deal with anger. It raises and answers questions like – how to control anger, how to become anger-free etc. It attempts to do so by understanding anger, putting together varied anger management strategies and reviewing books on the same subject.

[Click Here for Part I - Decoding Anger]

How Did You Form Your Current Anger Management Style

If you did stay with the questions asked in the previous part – Decoding Anger – Anger Management Series Part I, you must have already begun your journey to understand anger in specific to you. As much important it is to understand anger, equally important it is to understand how you choose to deal with anger.

Your First Anger Management Style
If you go back in time when you first got angry, you had multitude of options on how to deal with this emotion. You picked up one option and dealt with your anger through it. Why you picked that option, we don’t know.

Could be that’s how you have seen someone you know deal with anger, could be you were inspired from some movie or book you had read, could be this style suited your personality then and hence came easily to you, could be you picked this at random as well. If you think you are going to benefit questioning why you picked the first anger management style the way you did, by all means ask why, go back to past, go to the roots to get your answer. However, this line of questioning is not always needed.

So let us simply go ahead with what happened when you picked up an anger management style. Two outcomes were possible:
1. Negative – Your anger management style was ineffective and gave you a lot of pain.
2. Positive – Your anger management style was effective that is, things went the way you wanted.

If Result Was Not Satisfactory, You Picked Another Style
If the outcome was negative, you knew that this is one anger management style you don’t want to use in future. The next time you got angry, you made it a point to avoid this style, and pick up some other style to deal with anger. This style again gave you a positive or negative feedback. And the process continued till you got a positive feedback …

If Result Was Satisfactory, You Stayed With The Style
If the outcome was positive, you knew what worked. Because of this, the next time you got angry, this probably would be the first anger management style you pick up to deal with anger; which is logical and very intelligent of you. If you already know what works, why break head trying out other ways.

Your Anger Management Style Got Programmed
Over a period of time, as you kept implementing the same style, it became second nature to you. And now, whenever you get angry, you don’t think of options you have, you simply react with what is your second nature. The entire part where you could see options and you chose your way to deal with anger goes out of picture. You have unknowingly programmed yourself to deal with anger in a specific way.

While I am not against programming self to deal with anger, I sure have concerns if we are still working the way a child (our younger self) had programmed us. Inspite of having power to choose how to deal with anger, we react in an automated fashion like robots – programmed without giving a thought to whether the style that we use to deal with anger is right or not; programmed without thinking that even though the style gives desired result in the short term, is it sensible and effective way to manage anger in the long run. Being programmed without thinking whether the style is healthy and suitable for us is one scary thought.

If You Can Do It Once, You Can Do It Again. This Time, The Right Way.
If you try to remember the times when you formed your current way of dealing with anger, chances are, you won’t remember any incident. For you, your current style is the only style of dealing with anger that you know of. It seems as if you were born with this style of anger management, it’s ingrained within you to react to anger the way you do.

However, this is not true. The entire purpose of understanding how you formed your current anger management style is exactly this. That even though you don’t remember how you came up with this style, it is something you learned. And with practice, it became your habitual way of dealing with anger. What is learned, can be unlearned, habits can be replaced with better habits. And hence, surely, you too can learn or improve your ways of dealing with anger.

I don’t need to mention, but to state the obvious, the biggest question over here of course is that if you do plan to change your way of dealing with anger, what would you like your new anger management style to be?

This is Part II of Anger Management Series. Stay Tuned for Part III.
To ensure that you do not miss any part of this series, consider subscribing to RSS Feed or Email Updates for free.

Update: Kaizen Way Of Managing Anger – Anger Management Series Part III

How Did You Form Your Current Anger Management Style is a post from: Avani-Mehta.com Download & Share: The Fabulous Motivators E-Book.

Anger Is Never Without A Reason, But Rarely A Good One – Benjamin Franklin

Photo Courtesy Of Image Editor

You Will Not Be Punished For Your Anger, You Will Be Punished By Your Anger – Buddha

Anger Management Series provides self help material to deal with anger. It raises and answers questions like – how to control anger, how to become anger-free etc. It attempts to do so by understanding anger, putting together varied anger management strategies and reviewing books on the same subject.

Emotions fascinate me. Since years now I have been observing how thoughts and actions increase/decrease intensity of our emotions. Take anger as an example for this article; I am fascinated to see how by some thoughts my anger subsides and by others it turns into uncontrollable rage. I am amazed how some actions could diminish my anger and some actions, like fuel, increase the fire within me, and burn all routes to constructive thinking, problem solving and rationalizing.

Since I have been observing and experimenting with my thoughts and actions for years, I know, what works and does not work for me with respect to anger. And I strongly suggest you do the same. Understand anger with respect to you. Because, in that understanding, lies the key to express and deal with anger effectively.

Of course, using this strategy for anger management will not produce instant results. But anger once simplified, will cease being a mystery for you. Rather than using all anger management strategies available to you, you can then pick and choose which strategy to use.

I Keep Six Honest Serving-Men;
They Taught Me All I Knew,
Their Names Are What And Why And When;
And How And Where And Who.
- Rudyard Kipling

What Makes You Angry & Why? Answer Once. And Then Answer Again And Again

Anger is a form of feedback. It is a feedback that you believe something unfair is happening to you. Whether this is for real or not is a separate question all together; but for you this is real. So question yourself, what happened that you are angry about and why are you angry about it? And answer in terms specific to you.

The same event (what) that angers you might not anger someone else. Because your interpretation and someone else’s interpretation of the situation is different. So why are you angry? What do you believe is happening with you that is making you angry? Keep asking this question again and again and jot down as many answers as you get. In the beginning, you might feel a lot of resistance. Work towards answering the question even then.

For instance, what happened – your kid keeps his room messy and doesn’t clean up after you tell him a 100 times and you get angry. ‘Why are you angry’?

• He is keeping the room messy
• He does not listen to you
• He ignores you
• You hate mess. Seeing mess makes you angry
• You feel not heard, unvalidated.
• You feel that by not doing what you ask him to, he is showing disrespect.
• You are worried that if a guest drops by, this messy room would be a reflection of you
• Rooms are supposed to be kept clean, he should understand this.
• Messy rooms reminds you of some hurt in your past. This hurt triggers anger

… the list could go on. Till you don’t figure out, what’s the real reason, continue the question ‘Why are you angry’. And see how many reasons you can come up with. The real reason will always be about you.

Who Makes You Angry?

Who are you truly angry at? Is it the person you are blaming for your anger or someone else ? Do you remove your work related frustration on your family? Are you impatient and angry with your collegues because of some personal family matters? Sometimes, people are just unlucky to cross you on a wrong day at a wrong time.

Who are you truly angry at? Is it you who you are angry at? But because you can’t remove anger on yourself, you remove it on others. Do you remove anger those who take all anger treatment you give them because they are afraid of you or they love you? Do you direct all your anger towards one person you know you are safe to be angry with?

When & Where Do You Get Angry?

Sometimes, we are prone to anger in specific time or place – early in the morning, late in the evening, noon time, breakfast table, living room, in car during peak hours etc. Of course, it’s not time/place that makes us angry, but it’s a big signal that something is consistently going wrong over there which we need to pay attention to.

Is it early morning at breakfast table? Could be you are always hurried, running each minute to finish task and reach office on time. Or maybe you are tired and still sleepy, droopy because of lack of sleep.

Is it late in the evening in living room? Could be you are tired, exhausted from your long work day. You want to relax but are bugged to find loads of work to do. You expect quiet time, but your house is filled with noise – television, phone calls, kids playing etc.

When and where are both different questions to be answered separately. However, since the logic of asking them overlaps, they have been put together to avoid repetition.

How Do You Get Angry?

Your mind moves from a non-anger to anger mode and then manages to stay in anger for a long time. The event which triggered anger got over in a few seconds. But anger persists in mind. This proves that you have a major role to play in how you become angry. You have to think certain thoughts, take certain actions to get angry. What are these thoughts and actions?

How you get angry is a chain of small processes – think this, feel that, act like this, think like that … it’s cyclical and fast. At first, you don’t have to do anything except watch your mind make you angry. See how it works, what memory it triggers, what weaknesses of yours does it use, what conclusions it jumps to. Don’t think, analyze or try to stop this process for time being. Don’t reason with it’s logic. Simply observe and know what it does.

The more you do this, the more conscious you will become of this entire process. With time, you will be able to catch yourself at start of the process effortlessly. This is when you get the power to direct mind in a new direction and create better processes for yourself.

Are You Really Angry?

We all have our own comfort level with different emotions. Sometimes, when we feel uncomfortable with feelings of guilt, shame, hurt etc we jump to anger. We train ourselves to become angry in case any of these emotions rise – because we are not comfortable with them and wish to deny them. In this case, anger is really not the first reaction that we gave to stimuli. It is just a preferred way to projecting another emotion. Anger is also known as a secondary emotion in this case.

The more you stay with and answer these questions, the better you will know yourself and your anger. With enough information you will be able to understand and diagnose the real reason for your anger. And correct diagnosis will ofcourse lead to correct method of anger treatment.

This is Part I of Anger Management Series. Tune in next week for Part II.
To ensure that you do not miss any part of this series, consider subscribing to RSS Feed or Email Updates for free.

Update : How Did You Form Your Current Anger Management Style – Anger Management Series Part II

Decoding Anger is a post from: Avani-Mehta.com Download & Share: The Fabulous Motivators E-Book.