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Enrich Your Life – Part 1
One day, while I was bored, I read – “If you are bored, it’s because you’re boring”. And Ouch! that hurt a lot. My immediate reaction to this was of course denial. I didn’t want to believe the statement which implicated me as the root cause of my boredom. But the problem was, it sounded so right.
As I started taking responsibility for my boredom and took action to get rid of it, something amazing started to happen. I found that not only my boredom time reduced drastically, I also started to live more and enjoy life moment to moment.
Living in a city (Mumbai) where 1.5 hour one way travel to work or college is considered normal (mine was actually 2+), I had ample time to hone my skills of keeping myself entertained. To enjoy myself and to create enriching life are two most important things I stumbled on to while working through boredom and aiming for the best I could have/create for myself.
What I share below are some thoughts and some tips which will help you to enrich your lives and as a side effect remove boredom from your life.
Start Taking Responsibility
There are so many things in the world that you can do/learn that even if you learn one new thing a day, your lifetime wouldn’t be enough. And inspite of this, if you are bored, whose fault is that?
It’s your job to not get bored. It’s your job to ensure that your life remains interesting for you. And how can it be otherwise? After all, your life … your call.
The first step to get anything in life is to take complete responsibility for it. It doesn’t matter whether you played a role in things being the way they are. Taking responsibility isn’t about taking blame anyway. Taking responsibility is about taking control of things from now on, it’s about saying that I will deal with whatever comes up, I will make things work.
Take responsibility for boredom in your life. So that you can remove it from your life.
Take responsibility to enrich your life.
Do Something Outrageous – Shock Away Inertia
You remember the simple law of inertia that you read in your physics book? The one which says that a moving object keeps moving easily and an object at rest remains at rest? That’s exactly what has gotten into you and your life – Inertia! You think you are getting bored with life, you talk about wanting to make changes, you even plan … but nothing happens. Thoughts remain thoughts and plans remain plans. No action is taken.
The technique that has always helped me to make a switch from rest to moving is to give myself a massive push – do something so outrageous in the direction I want my life to go that I keep rolling in the same direction by sheer force of it. My state automatically becomes that of moving. And once I start moving, it’s easier to keep moving.
What will give you a massive push, you will have to figure out for yourself. One that has never failed me is to have a blast – have so much fun doing what I am supposed to do that I can’t help but do more of it. I am so excited about the fun of first push that I think and talk only about it. All I want to do is repeat the experience. And this desire keeps me moving.
note: what’s outrageous for you might not be outrageous for others. Don’t debate on whether what you are doing falls under outrageous. Just do what you want to.
Take Action Immediately – Don’t Bother To Plan
If you get an idea, act on it. Don’t wait to make everything perfect. If you wait even to plan, you might lose out on the opportunity. The larger the gap between your idea and it’s implementation, higher the chances of you taking no action at all. Don’t let the clock tic away. Take action now. You will find more opportunities later on to plan things to perfection. Right now is the time to act and not plan.
If your idea is to go on a weekend trip with your friends and you find only an evening is available; don’t let go of the evening. Grab the opportunity. Throw a party and rock on. Beggars can’t be choosers. The party will set in motion the weekend trip.
The idea is to keep window between idea and action so small that even a ‘but’ can’t pass through. You want to get a bite of action as soon as possible, no matter how small so that you keep coming for more.
note: if your idea brings drastic changes in your life, it might be better to not act on impulse. Don’t do something foolish.
Follow A No Complain Rule
I know ‘no complaining’ is tough. But guess what, it gets tougher. You don’t get to complain even in your mind. Do whatever you have to – make fun of life, accept life, change life … but don’t complain.
The reason for this is simple, complaining doesn’t give any returns. It might give you a momentary release but it spoils your quality of life (and of those around you). You have problems, you change your attitude, you don’t get to complain.
The magic of this is that you can’t keep thinking ‘I can’t complain’ forever. The no complain rule will force you to ask yourself that what can I do make this pain/irritation go away, or what can I do make things bearable. Now that’s a constructive thought – one which you might not have if you get to complain.
I have come to a point where I ask myself what’s the point of complaining? Nothing’s going to change. So why spoil mood? Why not simply accept what is or change what is.
I know, it kind of reminds you of The Serenity Prayer doesn’t it? It’s one of my favorite prayers –
God Grant Me The Serenity
To Accept The Things I Cannot Change;
Courage To Change The Things I Can;
And Wisdom To Know The Difference.
Does this mean that I don’t complain at all? No, of course not. I do complain. Sometimes I don’t even realize that I am complaining. But since I don’t allow people around me to complain, they do the same for me. (I think they must secretly enjoy giving me back what I give them very much)
Pick Your Passion Of The Year – Keeps Things Interesting
You could choose to pick passion of the month or passion of the decade … doesn’t really matter. One year works for me hence I say one year.
One year I am passionate about stock market. I learn about trading, I learn about stocks, mutuals funds, long/short term investments, day trading … I trade, I read, I interact with those who have same interests. I obsessively do everything around it. It’s fun, it’s exhilirating, it’s new. It’s almost like having a crush.
Another year, it’s reading fantasy novels. I read harry potter, lord of the rings, wheel of time … I read and get lost in their world. It’s like seeing everything happen in front of my eyes. I cry with them, I rejoice with them, I urge them to move on, I pray them to stay safe, I hold my breath everytime something big is going to happen … it’s like being transported to their time, living the experience or seeing someone close experience the same. It’s raw, it’s magical.
It doesn’t matter what you pick up as long as you are trying something new. Give yourself an opportunity to explore something, have fun with something. If you don’t like what you try, you can always pick something else. Out of 10 things you try, you might at least like one. And who knows, what you find might surprise you – you like it so much that you stick with it for lifetime.
Everytime you try something new, you enrich your life with a new experience. Everytime you find something you are passionate about, you have hit a jackpot – your life will forever be rich from the joy that activity will bring in you.
[More in part 2 - coming soon]
How do you enrich your life?
Do you have any tip which I can share in next part of this article?
I would love to hear from you in comments and/or email.
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Hi Avani, my life is anything but boring. If something I feel myself tired of everything that I’ve got in my plate, but I still have to fight inertia, specially the coach inertia. You know it’s like there’s a slow glue on the coach and the longer you stay there, the harder is to stand up and do anything.
Miguel de Luis Espinosa´s awesome post blog ..A man can dream
Miguel, too comfortable couches and too comfortable beds do that to you … especially on lazy days … just want to snooze
I tend to have a lot of hobbies and interests. It is just natural for me. I can never keep still. I’d have a single passion that I spend a great deal of my time on. All my extra money will go into pursuing it. I am seldom bored as a result.
Lately, I am also learning that silence is not boring in any way. It can be enriching. In fact, if I don’t get my silent space in a day or two, I am not very functional for the rest of the time.
Evelyn Lim´s awesome post blog ..Align with Abundance
Evelyn, you and me seem quite alike. Silence recharges us, doesn’t it? Personal space is like spending time with yourself so that you can be all set to spend time with others.
I read once that boredom is simply lack of attention. When we are more attentive, life becomes alive, and we will not be bored. But I love all your ideas to get out of boredom and back into enriching your life Avani. I think having passion and injecting that with action is key.
Excellent blog post!
Dayne
Dayne | TheHappySelf.com´s awesome post blog ..What If?
Dayne, you hit the nail – passion & action. Your comment reminded me of a quote from Ellen Parr … “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”
I think you meant to write “Courage To Change The Things I Can;”
Let it be….
Post is very thought provoking and based on practical life….
Here’s one more thing you can do to stop getting bored, just start thinking about whatever means a lot to you as soon as you don’t have anything to do, by this you won’t even know when the time passed away…..
Slim0123´s awesome post blog ..15th August – Independence Day
Slim0123, I love the title you have suggested. It’s an idea for another post.
To think about things which mean a lot to you is a great suggestion. Not only it will help in passing time, but also help in keeping priorities straight and you happy.
You still havn’t corrected the “Co”
Slim0123´s awesome post blog ..15th August – Independence Day
Done
hi Avani,
This blog was wonderful! The more I read, I connected more. I find that I am more curious than I am bored; I love stillness, but not emptiness. It really is our chosen state for a mindful present.
I love how you shared to ‘Do something so outrageous in the direction I want my life to go that I keep rolling in the same direction by sheer force of it.’ I love doing this!
I think its important to also ‘practice containment’ when we are about to do something outrageous, a few times if it is shared first, it loses its wow, craziness and personality. We should do this simply for the fun of it, and because it matters to us!
I also thought it was neat how you shared about the passion of the year!
very neat idea! I often write out what i’d like to do each year as a suggestion list so i have these ideas in my mind and check back throughout the year to see where I’m at and if I truly want to do them, and if so set them priority.
at the end of the year, I will often do an accomplishment list similarly so that I can look back over the year and then start afresh the following with what i still really want to do! I figure, eventually I will get to do these things one at a time and will live a life of no regrets!
you live in Mambia? If so, that is so cool! I want to go there someday!
Namaste,
Jen/Sharmila
Jen´s awesome post blog ..A Generous Thought: Open Doors to Cathedrals,..
Jen, making a suggestion list of things to do every year is a cool idea. It’s fun to make list and pick things to do whenever we are thinking what next! I wonder if you know about BucketList – that’s kind of a list of things you want to do before you die. Marelisa has created an awesome squidoo lens about it. You can check it here.
Currently I live in Florida, US but originally I am from Mumbai. Next year, I return back … home sweet home
.
I like these points
- have so much fun doing what I am supposed to do that I can’t help but do more of it
- it’s like being transported to their time, living the experience
- It doesn’t matter what you pick up as long as you are trying something new
I agree – it’s about cycling through things to find what you latch on to and be open to be surprised.
J.D. Meier´s awesome post blog ..3 Take Aways
J.D., your comment matches with your current post perfectly – 3 Take Aways. Being open to surprise is what keeps you young at heart. Once you start wanting things to remain the way they are … old age sets in.
Interesting, I live in Florida, but when I visit India, I love to travel by trains and local buses–the hustle and bustle, I suppose. And I always meet interesting people that way.
“Do Something Outrageous – Shock Away Inertia” I love that.
Boredom often is the mind’s fear of the present. I sometimes use it become deeply present.
Great article. Thanks!
Kaushik | beyond-karma.com´s awesome post blog ..Do you feel lighter, more compassionate, more joyful, more natural, more playful?
Kaushik, currently I am in Florida as well. Back in India, I love to travel by trains and buses. Jumping into a yet to stop train to catch a seat to sit used to be highlight of my morning
Golden Days!
‘Boredom often is the mind’s fear of the present’ … I really didn’t think of boredom that way. Could you elaborate?
Boredom can be a kind of anxiety.
Here’s Tolle on it:
The mind exists in a state of “not enough” and so is always greedy for more. When you are identified with mind, you get bored and restless very easily. Boredom means the mind is hungry for more stimulus, more food for thought, and its hunger is not being satisfied.
When you feel bored, you can satisfy the mind’s hunger by picking up a magazine, making a phone call, switching on the TV, surfing the web, going shopping, or — and this is not uncommon — transferring the mental sense of lack and its need for more to the body and satisfy it briefly by ingesting more food.
Or you can stay bored and restless and observe what it feels like to be bored and restless. As you bring awareness to the feeling, there is suddenly some space and stillness around it, as it were. A little at first, but as the sense of inner space grows, the feeling of boredom will begin to diminish in intensity and significance. So even boredom can teach you who you are and who you are not.
You discover that a “bored person” is not who you are. Boredom is simply a conditioned energy movement within you. Neither are you an angry, sad, or fearful person. Boredom, anger, sadness, or fear are not “yours,” not personal. They are conditions of the human mind. They come and go.
Nothing that comes and goes is you.
“I am bored.” Who knows this?
“I am angry, sad, afraid.” Who knows this?
You are the knowing, not the condition that is known.
Kaushik | beyond-karma.com´s awesome post blog ..Do you feel lighter, more compassionate, more joyful, more natural, more playful?
hmmm that makes sense. Let boredom be, accept it and observe it with detachment. Allow it to pass away. & It will pass away.
Really enjoyed this post. I think you’ve made some great points that are easy to implement, no matter what your circumstances. I like the idea of taking action without planning (not very Indian of you
J/K. I sometimes think my parents and most older Indian people spend their entire lives planning and saving for the future. IN fact I had heard countless times when I was a kid “you have to work hard now, and enjoy later. Later is the time for enjoying life”.
Srinivas Rao´s awesome post blog ..A little tiny dose of zen
My grandson told me yesterday he was bored. I told him that wasn’t my problem. I like what you read and will help him to understand how he can do something outrageous!
I like also the idea of picking my passion. I think I’ll go with the monthly because I am passionate about many thing!
Tess The Bold Life´s awesome post blog ..Have you dealt with your shadow?
Tess, monthly passion sounds awesome. Do let me know how things turn up. I remember many times when I said I am bored in my childhood, I got a reply saying ‘Then do something’.
Was irritating to hear that but it really worked.
Hi Avani. That’s great what Dayne said: “I read once that boredom is simply lack of attention.” Makes a lot of sense. And what you say about taking what is there rather than waiting for something better got me to thinking that when we are bored we are being too self-indulgent and nothing is good enough.
Davina´s awesome post blog ..If You Could, Would You?
Davina, sometimes we want things to be so perfect that we miss out on everything – since it’s a rare scenario when we will find everything just the way we want. The fun is to run along and adapt the plan.
I love the part about Taking Immediate Action. If I feel a little down or inert, then I get up and do something and I feel so refreshed and accomplished. And it could be something as simple as sweeping the floor (which I do need to do.) My hubby did not sweep or vacuum in the 2 weeks Kelly and I were away.
He did a lot on the house remodeling, tho. He’s a real sweetie.
jannie Funster´s awesome post ..Post-Vacation Contemplation
Your hubby does sound sweet. And you can’t blame him for enjoying his bachelorhood for some days
You make a good point – that the action doesn’t need to be something huge – even a small action well done is enough to break the inert feeling.