If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino

If it were in our hands, we might choose to experience positive emotions all the time – stay on the high of motivation, of happiness, of love & of boundless energy. But experiencing negative emotions is as much part of our lives as is experiencing positive ones.

We might choose to let go of these emotions quickly, or we might accept these emotions as how things are right now, we might choose to rebel against them, demanding them to go away, or we might raise the white flag to give up, allowing the domination of negative emotions on us … Whichever way we choose, the fact that we will face these emotions from time to time is inescapable.

It could be that from the numerous times we face these emotions, most of time we are able to deal with them correctly and let go of them . But this too leaves open a few times when we just can’t let go of negative emotions. We realize that these emotions, however unfavorable, are here to stay for some time along with us … just like unwanted guests.

However unwanted these emotions are, since we can’t avoid them, we need to choose the next best thing we can do in times like these – which is to channel them in the right direction so that at least they don’t create more havoc in our lives and something good comes out of them.

Emotions are a powerhouse of energy. You already know this. I don’t need to explain this to you. Just remember times when you did something for the sake of doing and you did something because you were emotionally charged – the difference between both will speak for themselves.

That we use positive energy to create positive outcomes and negative energy to create negative outcomes (or no outcomes) is a no brainer. This is how most of us are wired. And this wiring is exactly what we want to change.

When negative emotions strike, we bring out all our bad habits & destructive thoughts; we invest time in activities which cannot bring us any returns or those which create additional problems for us. This is how we operate. But no more. This has to change.

When negative emotions strike, we stay glued to television getting wasted, we give in to bouts of grief or anger, we hurt those who are close to us, we quit exercising, break our diets and lose on the almost winning battle of health & fitness. But no more. This too has to change.

We don’t need to tolerate THIS in our lives. You don’t need to tolerate this in your life. Is it not enough to experience negative emotions already present that we open doors to more negativity, lethargy and needless destruction? We might allow negative emotions to remain in our lives for sometime (not by choice of course), but we are not going to let them dictate what we do with their presence.

Channel All Energy Into Productive Actions

Ultimately, emotion is energy. And if we train ourselves, we can channel this energy into activities which are productive. I know, this sounds counter-intuitive. After all, negative emotions don’t promote productivity. They deflate any kind of will or motivation we have to work towards positivity. They hypnotize us and put us in some kind of inertia.

And that’s why, we wont pick any activity which is not compatible with the kind of energy you have. Any negative emotion you experience will promote some kind of behavior in you.

Notice that I said behavior and not action. For instance, deep hurt or pain could lead you to a state of obsession or avoidance; anger could lead you to aggression or destruction; de-motivation could lead you to laziness or inaction. Obsession, aggression, inaction are all behaviors and not specific actions.

What we need to do is pick up actions which stay true to these behaviors but result in positive outcomes. In other words, stay true to your negative emotions, not to negative outcomes.

For instance -

For me, getting into a state of obsession used to be about thinking negative thoughts in some kind of loop. It’s as if a cassette is played in an auto-replay mode. It doesn’t matter how many times I let go, the thoughts keep coming back because they never get erased from the tape. There is so much restless negative energy that it does what it does the best – obsess about the negatives in past.

I found my positive replacement in work. I pour all my energy in working on tasks which need full attention. It’s almost as if I transfer my obsession of negativity to obsession of work. I really do get a lot done in times like these.

This works only when I pick up an activity which doesn’t go against negativity. As I said before the action you choose to take has to be in sync with you and your behavior. In state of extreme negativity, I cannot focus on any kind of positive psychology. In literal sense, this means that I am not open to getting coached from others, books on the same subject don’t hold my interest and I can’t write anything related to positive emotions. And hence, any attempt I make to do so is futile.

On the other hand, organizing stuff, programming, studying, reading intense fictional novels are some activities which I have found to be highly compatible with obsessive behavior. I can easily get lost in either of them and get best out of each of them.

The reason why channeling all energy into productive actions is the first step is because with intense emotions, you are building up intense energy within you. Energy which is bubbling to get out, energy which is demanding a release. If you don’t channel this energy into productive actions consciously, chances are high that by default you will channel this energy into negative, unproductive actions.

If by using up all energy through unproductive actions would result in you getting a release from negative emotions, we would still consider this alternative. However, negative emotions encourage negativity. This in turn would result in an inexhaustible production of negative emotions/energy within you. And this is exactly what we don’t want. Hence, it makes more sense to channel emotions into productive behavior.

Tilt The Balance – Strengthen Positivity, Weaken Negativity

As you focus on taking productive action, you will notice for that time period, your focus has shifted from negative to positive. This shift causes a pause in your cycle of negativity. This pause is of great importance because everytime you create a pause in the cycle, you are weakening the power of negative emotions over you. Every pause means that you are spending less time on negative emotions and hence are reducing the amount of time you spend on thoughts/actions which promote negativity.

Your goal while taking productive action is dual – to weaken the cycle of negativity by creating pauses. And to begin and strengthen the cycle of positivity by focusing on thoughts/actions which promote positivity.

While the idea of starting and strengthening the cycle of positivity might sound overwhelming, it really isn’t. Remember, as negativity promotes negativity, positivity promotes positivity as well. Hence, just start by taking small steps towards positivity and keep building momentum. Don’t take a lot of pressure, just throw in a pebble of positive thoughts/actions and ride the wave. (don’t forget the fact that by taking productive action you have already made a substantial investment in building the cycle of positivity).

For instance (continuing the above example) :

For me, focus is my strength. When I focus on one thing, it takes all my attention. If I am reading, I might not even hear you call my name. I might not know if someone had come to the room or not. This strength is what helps me create pauses. For the time that I am deep into my work, it’s as if everything else comes to a stand still. I have found my safe haven where no negativity can enter.

When I accomplish something (in whatever task I have taken up), I feel happy. As I share my happiness with people around me, it increases my happiness. This sharing creates an opportunity for interaction and heartfelt communication. Getting in touch with others helps me feel better. Now my happiness encourages me to seek actions which make me happy. And this sometimes results in playing music, sometimes in meditation, sometimes it’s catching up with a friend/family member … getting the drift? My cycle of positivity has begun. And as I keep adding impetus to it, it will strengthen.

A short & beautiful story explains the concept of weakening cycle of negativity and strengthening the cycle of positivity brilliantly. I have shared this story before but here it goes:

One evening a Cherokee elder told his grandson about the battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between the two ‘wolves’ that live inside us all. One is Unhappiness. It is fear, worry, anger, jealousy, sorrow, self-pity, resentment and inferiority. The other is Happiness. It is joy, love, hope, serenity, kindness, generosity, truth and compassion. ”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”
The old cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed”.

Deal With Negativity & Release It

When the negative emotions weaken and their power over you has reduced, it is the best time to face them. Intense negative emotions make things overwhelming. They don’t allow us to see things and accept things as they are. They don’t allow us to deal with them effectively. And hence, when you think their hold over you is not as strong as before, face them and deal with whatever comes up.

You might wonder why am I asking you to deal with negativity and face what you don’t want to face. You might wonder what’s the need of doing this since if any negativity comes up you can channel it into productive action, and you now know how to weaken and strengthen the cycles of negativity and positivity. But these actions were just steps taking to you where you have reached now.

Without dealing with the root cause behind all this, there is going to be no end to it. You will tire yourself out trying to do what I have mentioned above repeatedly. No matter what you do, you can’t run away. You have to face and deal with whatever is bothering you. Whether it’s grief or anger or pain or disappointment … whatever it is, face it and take whatever are appropriate steps to deal with it and let go. It is only when you allow yourself to release these emotions that you can consider yourself completely free.

It is only when you have dealt with negative emotions appropriately and released them completely that you can consider yourself having tapped fully into powerhouse of negative emotions.