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Get Unstuck … Let Go …
Let go. Why do you cling to pain?
There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday.
It is not yours to judge.
Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?
- Leo Buscaglia
‘This, too, shall pass away’ is a quote I hold dear to my heart. For it has helped me pass through myriads of big and small troubles and tests of life. However, I know and believe that the opposite of this is equally true as well.
‘This will NOT pass away … not on it’s own at least!’
When the place where we are stuck up is within ourselves, when we are in the prison of our mind and heart, this place, this moment, this stuckness will not pass away … not on it’s own at least … not until we do something about it.
When where we are stuck up is within us, we carry it with us life long. The external events may change. What got us stuck in the first place might have come and gone away. But if we don’t allow ourselves to move on and get unstuck, nothing is going to change for us.
What passes away are events that occur in our lives. What passes away is time and everything that time brought along with it … good times, bad times, tough times, easy times, tragic times, ecstatic times …. Times keep changing but when what we want to change is within us, no amount of changes in our external world can make any kind of difference. To bring change within us, we have to will ourselves to change and not leave it to time. Time can heal, only if we allow it to heal. Time can help us move beyond our past, if we allow it to. Time can bring us new adventures, new dreams, new hope and life … only if we allow it to.
There are no set of established steps which can help you to move forward and create a new life; which can help you get ‘unstuck’. Each person has to carve his or her own path. For we all have our own unique moments, thoughts and emotions where we have got stuck. What’s common for all of us is that we have to will it to pass away, we have to will whatever is holding us back to pass away.
Let go ….
A lot of times the reason we get stuck in our past is because something unfair happened. Something that was not supposed to happen happened. And we simply can’t move beyond the injustice, the unfairness of life or people.
You were good, and yet life treated you bad. How do you make peace with that? How do you let go of that? How do you forgive someone who wronged you? And why would you do that when you are right? Life hasn’t corrected itself, neither has the person who wronged you apologized. How can you let go when you were right? Wouldn’t letting go mean condoning what was wrong or even worse, accepting that you were wrong!
How can you let go and why would you let go?
The answer is simple, to be happy. If letting go of whatever happened can help you get unstuck, if letting go can open doors to happiness, why wouldn’t you want to let go! What has being right given you that you want to hold on to being right?
When you get caught up in an event which occured in your past, you need to remember that the event has already passed away. Whether you were righted or wronged, whether it was fair or not, the event has happened. And there is nothing you can do to change that.
What you can do is make a choice to stay with the event or move on. Most of us do understand this. But require something to happen to allow us to move on. We set our own conditions which need to be met so that we can let go of the event and move forward.
Sometimes we wait for the person who wronged us to come and apologize. Sometimes we wait till we understand the ‘why’ behind whatever happened to us. Sometimes we wait till something happens to correct the wrong that happened in our lives. We wait … to be righted. We wait … for life to correct itself.
But what we don’t realize is that nothing wrongs us more than this waiting.
When you wait for some conditions to be met before moving on with your life, you are actually putting your life and happiness on hold for something that may or may not happen. You are giving someone else the power over your happiness.
People get stuck because they want life to be fair. And everytime something unfair happens to them, they wait …. they wait for life to correct itself and prove them right. They wait for life to show it’s fair side. But guess what – life is not always fair. And life doesn’t correct itself in ways we want.
Sometimes things don’t go the way you want them to. You accept that and move forward to build a life you want. You don’t hold back hoping that everything will just sort out.
If there is something you can learn from what happened, then learn. If there is something you can do about what happened, then take action. If there is something positive you can gain from this, then do that. Do everything you can and then let go … move on. Let go of your grief, your anger, your denial … let go of the event. If there is nothing you can gain from it, then too let go.
There is nothing more wrong than holding back your life for the event which has wronged you, for the event which has brought nothing but pain in your life. Your life deserves more. You deserve more. Allow yourself to move away and beyond the event, allow yourself to make peace with what happened, allow yourself to let go.
Allow yourself to let go …
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Welcome back Avani! Your site looks nice and clean. It looks like you took great care to get the fonts just right.
Beautiful post and I always like the way you carve out a wider perspective to tackle the topic more fully.
Letting go is an interesting thing. You probably know the NLP techniques already so I won’t mention those. What I will mention is this … I used to think letting go was a mental thing. I’ve realized that it depends on where it’s stuck. Some things can get burned in intellectually, emotionally, and physically, which means you can’t always logic your way out of them.
I found some interesting EQ (Emotional Intelligence) techniques, but I think the key is to change the thought pattern, change your state, link to good feelings, and burn in the habit. I think it’s always helpful to have a way to short-circuit if you find yourself in a loop or you keep spiraling down the same neural pathways.
J.D. Meier´s last blog ..Why Strengths?
Hello avani,
Its nice to see you after a long time.In the recession time your previous thoughts such as cost saving patterns ,time management,maintaining relations were really useful for all of us(your blog fan’s).I even crossed those tricky days by just reading your previous blog article.But now it seems you are back.Avani is back with thought provoking,mind opening,influencing and practical thoughts.wel-come back avani,now we expect more and more thoughts from you….Happy blogging.
Warm Regards .Amit Y.
Hi J.D.,
I am glad you like the new look. I still have some tweaking to do. Do tell me if there is something that doesn’t fit right.
I agree logic doesn’t help in letting go. Not unless some of it gets ingrained and becomes a part of you and your personality. Most of times, it is easy to understand intellectually that letting go is the best thing to do. But putting it to practice is a completely different ballgame all together.
Short circuiting (I loved this term) your way while spiraling down is something that I keep experimenting. Usually this works. But I have realized, that there are times when grieving is the best thing you can do for yourself. Allowing yourself to grieve for a period opens you to the possibility of completing yourself and moving on.
Hello Amit,
I feel great getting back to blogging as well. My time off was required and well spent. Now that I have all my batteries charged, you can expect good articles coming your way.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate you taking the time to welcome me and to let me know how much you liked my blog.
Hi Avani
I dont know what to write… little out of words.. for what you wrote..
May be i was supposed to read your post.. little co-incidental with the timings.
Still out of words.. want to say thank you although its not enough.. and its not the right expression of gratitude.
Regards
Jay
Hi Avani,
Welcome back. You were missed, but I was happy we could connect via Twitter.
I LOVE your new look (your avatar and your site). Both are beautiful.
And the post. It’s right on. I agree letting go is a great way to open ourselves up for greater possibilities. What’s done is done. It’s time to move forward.
Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..Who Are They To Say
Hi Avani – The blog design looks great
Letting go seems like a very difficult thing to do, but if you think about it, holding onto everything is like packing a dozen suitcases and carrying them around with you. And adding more suitcases as you hold onto more stuff. It may not be fair, what has happened in the past, but you don’t really want to pack a suitcase full of it, do you? Nice post 
Amanda Linehan´s last blog ..When In Doubt, Smile
Hello Jay,
I believe you were supposed to get this message, you just got it via me. You don’t need to thank me. I am just glad I could be of some help.
Letting go and surrendering, I believe, are the real tricks to happiness and freedom. Resistance and going against the “flow” of what life brings us only leads to tension, pain, and a depletion of energy.
Avani, I really like your blog and what you had to say in this post. All very good things! Nice job!
Keep up the great work!
Dayne
Dayne | TheHappySelf.com´s last blog ..How to Free Yourself From The Inside Out
Hi Barbara,
Thank you. It’s always good to know that you have been missed
. I am glad you like the new look. I am still tweaking the site but most of it is done.
What’s done is done … reminds me a little of a Spanish expression – Que Sera Sera … what will be, will be.
Hi Amanda,
I was picturing someone trying to manage holding a dozen suitcases and started laughing. It looked hilarious.
I agree, there is no reason to keep carrying on everything that has happened to you (You might not survive your first year if you did that!)
Hello Dayne,
I am glad you liked my site & post. Your comment reminded me of something I had read … ‘There is only today, you can either fight with it or make most of it’
Changed the theme to Grid Focus(not sure, but something seemed different than the previous view)……….
Hmmmmmm
Not sure whether its better than the previous one or not……..
Let it be….
The readers are more interested in the content than the theme……
Nice post…..
but people usually don’t understand the things until they themselves go throw these by themselves……
Its like saying to a child not to touch a hot plate otherwise you will get hurt, but he won’t stop touching the hot plate until he gets hurt…..
This is human nature buddy, people understand the value of what you’ve said in this post only when they themself find it out….
@Slim0123: I agree, the readers are more interested in the content than the theme. It would be crazy to think otherwise.
Letting go is a part everyone’s life. We begin our lives being masters of letting go. That we can walk, talk, love is proof enough for this. We forget what we know somewhere while growing up.
Avani-Mehta, this speaks so very deeply to my heart of hearts today. Letting go, oh if only we would all just learn to do this, let our troubles just melt like moecules into the wind, realizing that love is all we need and ever need.
Then, having let go, Take Action to make things happen. Seems so easy, but the mindset is all.
Thank you for this beautiful reminder today.
Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Why I Usually Grocery Shop Alone
Hi Avani… A great reminder to just let go of things! We burden ourselves un-necessarily sometimes…
Ross´s last blog ..August $50 giveaway
Jannie,
‘Let our troubles just melt like molecules into the wind, realizing that love is all we need and ever need’ … you write beautiful.
Without taking action to make things happen, you kinda remain stuck in the state of letting go. Moving on by taking action needs to be the immediate steps after letting go. Both go hand in hand.
Ross,
Aren’t all burdens we carry unnecessary? And sometimes imaginary
hi Avani,
Beautiful blog topic, you covered it well! No more words, it spoke to my heart, and I say ‘Thank-you’!
Namaste blessings,
~Jen/Sharmila
Jen´s last blog ..Progressive Healing; Marshmallow & Sacred Spaces…
I LOVE the new look!
Letting go is extremely hard, isn’t it? I’m not sure what it is about the human psyche that makes it so hard.
Hi Jen,
You are welcome
& Thank you so much for your kind words. Namaste to you too.
Vered,
I am glad you liked the new look.
Yes, letting go is hard.
Thank you so much for the great words, I agree, something has to change in order for us to move on past the selp imposed chains of the past “A lot of times the reason we get stuck in our past is because something unfair happened. Something that was not supposed to happen happened. And we simply can’t move beyond the injustice, the unfairness of life or people.” This is so true in many of our lives. Thank you again for you wonderful insite.