This is a great article. So much truth in it. I agree keeping a score card is not good.

the only thing that will come out of that is a divorce sooner or later.

Thanks
Debbie
Debbie´s awesome post ..Conquer Your Unhappiness In 5 Simple Steps!

They don’t always work, especially when your spouse has no intention of reciprocating or changing.

I’m counting the days when my kids go to college and I can divorce my husband.

contrariwise´s last blog post..Tutorial: How to oxidize sterling silver using eggs

“The secret of good relationship is mystery. may be we keep pushing the discussions|arguments with tons of justifications, refrences, tips and all stuff but deep somehwere we know what is the meaning of this life, and relationships? – Nothing. We keep befooling ourselves. All our gestures of display outside are indications of internal incompleteness and life goes that way !

Of course people do fight to evade boredom or dullness, but sub consciously.

did you ever hear that the great lovers of the world: Laila and Majnu, Romeo and Juliet, Shiri and Farhad, Soni and Mahival etc. ever fought or got dis satisfied with their relationships? No? Just because they couldn’t ever get that much of proximity to spend time with each other so that could be bored. had they been nagging and fighting then who would have heard their tales of great lovers??

The real test of relationship begins only when couples live together and bear each others attitudes and shortcomings. Not like that of Indian movies that potray relatioships like ultimate fantsasy where life seems a bed of roses and couples are seen dancing and enjoying even with most terrible situations. never ever an Indian movie really begins with a marriage, all producers and directors know how to cash on fantasies and pack up before hero heroine gets married.

Fighting just to get out of boredom sounds crazy. I haven’t ever thought of fights that way. And I genuinely hope people don’t do that.

Although, when I think, that people expect to get out of boredom and stay stimulated from a relationship, it does become a perfect recipe for disaster. Misplaced expectation is a sure shot way to start fights.

Of course love is not enough, no one can live in continous state of emotions or feelings everyday. to get tuned with each other begins with getting tuned with oneself first. If we are not calm/happy within our own self then it will reflect to everything with which we relate outside us. As we are programmed in our upbringing/values/culture in such ways that our own self and contentment gets lost and we live a phony life always imitating each other for our survival. That’s where self deception begins and life looks like more of a puzzle rather than flow.

The other real problem with ‘human nature’ is that it gets bored with repeated things/situations/circumstances/relations where as life is an evolution of new consciousness, unless we dont find something new and stimulating it feels heavy. All the romanticism this and that just happens out of boredom, we dont have anything new to relationship so we fight, just with trivia issues at least a “new situation” to hang on for some time.

Rajneesh