Photo Courtesy of Elsie esq

Life is full of choices. And while choices are good, too many of them sometimes render me to a state of freeze. I simply can’t decide which option to choose. I get lost in the unlimited number of options available. Do you face this too? Do you wonder how to be decisive often? Do you wish to get more comfortable in making decisions in your life? Well … here’s some good news for you. I finally cracked the code in the art of making decisions.

But before I share with you what I have discovered, I would like to highlight something else – The Art of NOT Making Decisions. Umpteen number of people have mastered this art along with me. They fear making decisions for varied reasons. But, ofcourse we can’t tell the world (or even ourselves) that we are scared to make a decision. Hence, we master techniques with which we become undecisive and we are very convincing in this act.

These techniques usually use conversations to create reasonable doubt in our minds or in minds of others. And hence, most of what you will read below is chatter – mental chatter. And while yes, a lot of people say that useless mental chatter is supposed to be ignored, we pay attention to it – we pay serious attention to it. Check out for yourself whether you too fall into this genius group of people.

The Art of NOT Making Decisions through Mental Chatter

1. How do I know the right decision

I want to make the right decision but “How do I know what is the right decision”. How do I know what’s right for me and what’s wrong. How do I know what do you like and what you don’t. How do I choose from the plethora of options available – one thing that fits my needs.

2. Every decision matters

Every decision that needs to be made from selecting a candy to a bag of cereals to what day to meet up friends and where to go on vacation, which way should the project go, which task needs to be picked up … every decision is important – life changing and hence needs detailed scrutinity and needs to be weighed properly.

3. Collecting data

Since decisions are so important, I need to collect data. And since so much data is available in a fragmented format online, I need to perform a detailed search. What if … what if I miss out some important piece of information which was available on the next click

4. Thinking of worst possible outcome

What if I miss out on some important factor to consider and take a wrong decision. What if … I lose my job because of that or lose my reputation. What if my friends don’t like the place I select, my kids don’t like the gift I choose …. what will happen then. I don’t want something like that to happen to me. I need to be sure of the decision I am making.

5. I need more time to analyze

There are simply so many pros and cons, so many factors to consider. I need time to analyze all of them thoroughly. And after analysis, I need MORE time to analyze them MORE thoroughly. I want to find an answer which has all the pros and none of the cons. I want to find an answer which is right for us in all aspects.

6. What if I am wrong.

I hate taking risks. I don’t like losses. What if I take this decision and I find out that I am wrong later. What will happen then. Everyone will blame me for not thinking through properly. Everyone will blame me for not taking the right decision. I don’t want to take this decision. What if I am wrong.

7. Everything is ok with me

I am fine if you choose option A and I am fine if you choose option B. I like both options equally. It doesn’t really matter which one you choose. Feel free to choose as per what you like. Which option do you like more? We will go with that option.

You would have noticed that these actually sound like ramblings of a mind. And that’s what they actually are. I have intentionally not corrected or fine tuned any of the above. Since in this format it will be easier for you to connect and find out whether you use any of the above to avoid making decisions. And if the strategy you use to avoid decision making is not listed above, do share through comments your way of not making decisions.

The most effective strategy of staying in the state of indecision is to develop a lack of clarity. And the best way to do so is to go in circles. Hence, often, all the points mentioned above are used one after another again and again. For instance desire to make the right decision leads to gathering data which leads to analysis which leads to taking decisions about the factors involved which leads to fear of making mistakes in analysis which leads to thinking of worst possible outcomes which leads to thinking we don’t know the which one is the right decision which leads to gathering more data … I guess you get the picture.

And yes, about “How to become decisive“, I still have not decided what format to present all the info in. So come back next week. Hopefully I would have decided by then hehe

Books On How To Be Decisive: