Photo Courtest jonboy mitchell

In the stage play of life we play different roles as time progresses. Although each relationship that we form is unique by itself, the older relations too keep on changing and being unique all the time.

Change is the essence of life people say. So very true. And life here does not pertain to life of just humans; It pertains to existence – existence of each and everything in this universe; including relationships. For, like other things, relationships too grow stale if not changed with time. And thus, as people change, relationships change.

Even though we say relationships are not made because of certain reasons, wants. We bind relationships by giving them names. With just a name tag, what we add is loads of expectations and loads of responsibilities. Even though people are the same, suddenly the expectations change, dynamics of the relationship change. These expectations when not fulfilled create a sense of dissatisfaction – they create a distance between those in a relationship. Perhaps, that is why to bridge these gaps we tend to generalise on shoulds and should nots of every relationship.

However, that is perhaps by itself the greatest mistake we tend to make. For if we do not desire the same things, if we do not require the same things then how can relationships require the same things? How can relationships bound by musts and must nots survive. Clashes are bound to happen; For what was right yesterday is wrong today and what is right today is going to be wrong tomorrow.

One of the most classic examples which each person would understand is that of a parent and child. A child is always fed by his/her parents in early stages of life. But then with age he/she starts having food himself/herself. The parent then has no need to feed the child because the child is no more a kid. He/she has grown up and can manage having food himself/herself. And parents do understand that they no more feed their child. However, as easy it is to recognize physical requirements and physical incapabilities that much difficult is to know mental and emotional requirements; for these are not visible.

Things will move smoothly till we do recognise the needs of others and fulfil them accordingly. However, when these do not match clashes become inevitable; leading to unrest. The key point here is to not to be driven by habit or roles; to not to stick to what you are comfortable in giving but concentrating on what the other needs to receive.

When our perspective changes over here, the transitioning part, the changing of our behaviour becomes easy. For then we are changing ourselves with time. We are making ourselves flexible giving people space to change and grow and be with them accordingly.

There is no correct formula for a successful relationship. Because being successful over here is not a one time thing. We will always be learners, will always be in process of making relationships better and better. For even if we arrive at a stage where we find relationship between two people perfect, impossible to find a flaw in; the very next moment we will find one of them or perhaps both of them changing and if people are not the same, then where does perfection in their relationship come from?