9 June 2008 122 views No Comment Print This Post  Email This Post

Did you know, the words we choose to express how we feel is the key to influence the way we feel?

We experience emotions in varied degrees. For instance we can feel good from degree of feeling ‘pleasant’ to feeling ‘ecstatic’. Or feel not so good from a degree of feeling ‘a bit down’ to feeling ‘depressed’.

We also express our emotions using varied degrees/range of words. For example: We can express feeling good by using words ranging from feeling ‘not bad’ to feeling ‘fantabulous’. Or feeling sad by using words ranging from feeling ‘not so happy’ to feeling ‘hopelessly sad’.

Interesting point here is that there are two things which affect us:
1. How we feel
2. How we express what we feel

While how we feel determines what range of words we can use to express ourselves. Often, the words we choose influence the degree of our emotion/feelings. Strong words increase intensity of feelings and mild words reduce intensity of our feelings.

For instance, I can reply to a simple “How are you” by using any of these sentences:
* I am not sad
* I am ok, all right.
* I am happy
* I am very happy
* I am great
* I am fantastic

The emotion is ‘feeling good’ but the range with which I can express is huge. The response that I choose as my reply, not only conveys to others how I am but also to myself. My mind registers how I share what I feel and adjusts my feelings accordingly. Hence, if I express my feeling good as I am not sad, that’s exactly how I will feel - just not sad. Not happy or very happy or great. Simply not sad. Similarly, if I choose to say I am great, I will feel accordingly.

Feelings usually mirror the words we use to express them. Hence, changing the way we express, will lead to changing the way we feel. Don’t believe? Do a small exercise to check this. Pay attention to your thoughts, particularly to the words you use to express your emotions of happiness, sadness, anger, frustration etc. Find out your list of common words. And replace them with a new list of stronger or milder words. And see how it affects your emotions. If nothing, it will be fun.

I am interested in knowing your experience with this exercise. Do share with me.